Fun things to do on whale watch

When the guide yells over the intercom, “Whales at 2 o’clock” point at your watch and tell all the clueless old folks, “Hey, it’s 1:15, let’s get a drink, we have plenty of time.”

When everyone rushes over to check out a whale, stare at the fattest person in the group and remark, “Wow that thing is gi -%$F$- normous.  It really does have a humped back, doesn’t it.” Take several pictures of that person’s ass and remark, “People are not going to believe this!”

Walk up to random families and say, “Hi I’m Horace, your guide for the trip.  Did you receive your harpoon yet?  The harpoon throwing area is in the aft section of the boat, just down a click from the stern.  Our policy on the boat is we eat what we kill.  Enjoy your meal folks.”

When a whale blows water out of its hole and wets some people, approach them.  “As your guide, I just want to apologize on behalf of the whales.  It’s their masturbation period, and they get excited when people watch.  That one there is a real shooter.  Now, a few facts about whale cum that you might find interesting……

 

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