Native American Naming Customs

The custom of naming the baby after the first thing you see after it pops out is something other races should consider.  However its confusing when we see names like Sitting Bull, Fallen Tree and Red River when clearly the first thing you should see when a baby is born is the mother’s vagina.  Therefore Custer’s Last Stand should have been chronicled as the moment when Custer made one last dash while leading his troops in a battle against Chief Crusty Rim, who was charging ahead with his two battle tested warriors Mangled Slice and Chafed Piss Flippers.


Today’s baby names lack imagination; all you parents about to bring new children into the world, start paying attention to the delivery room and come up with some descriptive names.  “Hi, not sure we’ve met before, my name is Bloody Forceps, and this is my wife Placental Juice Dripping off Gurney.  We have four children, this is our eldest son Smoking Hot Nurse, our daughter Bedpan Filled with Rotten Feces, our second youngest boy 70 dollar co -pay and our newborn Man Behind Curtain Dying of Aids.”



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