Ring tones we’d like to hear

  1.  A woman quiffing
  2. The black box tape from United flight 450
  3. Help! Help! Rape!
  4. Diarrhea squirting out of a tight rectum
  5. An old woman being beaten to death with a shoe
  6. Lightning striking a large group of fat people
  7. A soccer stadium collapsing
  8. Dead silence
  9. The sound of someone unwrapping a condom
  10. The sound of your local congressman snorting a line of crack
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