Super Bowl Prediction

Ok folks, if you have wagered on our site’s predictions in the past, you have done very well, so play close attention.  The line came out at 3, which was absurd.  Denver’s offense makes a glacier look like it’s hurtling across the earth.  The line quickly, as we predicted, moved up to 5.5  Denver’s offense in that time has done nothing to improve itself,  in fact Peyton Manning has only gotten older and suckier by the minute.  Expect this old creaky bastard to be running for his life most of the evening, in a cold wet rain that is expected to fall right around game time.  Cam Newton will do what he does, read options, short throws to the tight end, and some intermediate passes to his wideouts.  They will score 10-14 points in the first half then Coldplay will come on and sing a quartet of gay songs that real men like those on staff here have the balls to admit they actually enjoy.  There will be no wardrobe malfunction, so ladies -if you’re waiting to see some dick and balls before you head into the bathroom to finger your fluffy- you’re gonna need to yank the trousers down of one of your party guests.  In the second half, Carolina will slowly pull away, and you will be in full drunken snore mode with about ten minutes left.  The MVP will be Newton, and Peyton Manning by game’s end will look like he’s just slogged through ISIS country with a cross on his back.

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