Report: Sanders to drop out of Presidential bid after purchasing calculator 

Early reports indicate that Bernie Sanders (D.S) Vt. may be dropping out of the 2016 Presidential race after purchasing a calculator.

A spokeswoman for Mr. Sanders said, “Yes there are some rumors swirling that Mr. Sanders may suspend his presidential bid as early as this week.” We asked about the sudden change of heart? To which she replied, “As it turns out Bernie was using a calculator that he purchased from Dollar Tree, and has replaced that one with one he purchased at Walmart and was surprised as to how wrong his original figures were off.”

We were able to obtain the calculator from the Dollar Tree, which had a price tag on it which simply showed the symbol for Pi.  The calculator was missing both the 8 and the 9 key, the 7 was smashed in so hard it was not usable, the 6 looked like it had been shat upon,  and when you hit multiply (X) the calculator took the number you previously entered and added fifteen zeroes to it and then cubed it.  Hence the idiotic economic drivel coming from Mr. Sanders wrinkled visage.

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