NFL Weekly Roundup

Week 13 saw the Carolina Panthers stay unbeaten. Cam Newton continues to make an ass clown of himself on the field, performing ridiculous looking choreographed routines which would embarrass most people if they were in a shirt and tie, never mind with their body stuffed into  a teal football uniform and a helmet the size of an award winning pumpkin enveloping their warped skull.

The refs had another tremendous weekend, fucking up the outcome of several games and sending three coaches into fits of rage.  The players are constantly being monitored for concussions, has anyone in the league considered that the refs are the ones with the brain damage?  The refs seem to forget the rules every week.  When is the last time you saw a player forget a rule.  Say for example a receiver running his entire route out of bounds and then catching the ball as he enters the tunnel?  Or a kicker using a giant windmill to blow the ball through the uprights, then exclaiming, “Oh, you can’t do that?  Since when?”

One referee retreated to the replay camera on Sunday and forgot to pull the cape over his head.  His lips seemed to indicate him saying, “Holy shit, all that just happened?” We’re getting to a point where a ref is going to pull his noggin out from under the hood and we’re going to hear this… “After further review, the ruling on the field was ridiculous.   We ruled the player was juggling the ball and did not make a catch, I see now that it was a running play.  We then ruled the player did not break the plane.  I though they meant the plane the team travels on to get to the game.  I called the airline, they had no record of any damage to any plane.”

At this point the best solution would be a Final One; exterminate the bastards and bring in a whole squad of new referees. Place snipers in the press boxes, and let the refs know that they are going to be shot on sight if they forget rules.






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