The Toyota Prius, and other environmental cars of its kind, have been proven to be harmful to the environment, despite the push by the manufacturers to advertise them as ‘good for the earth.’ A study shows that the process used to manufacture one of the cars creates ten times more pollution and waste than is created in the making of a typical four door sedan. We tried to beat down the doors at the Prius plant in Michigan, but were asked to leave the premises. We departed, but not before having a word with an employee who requested he speak off the record and whose name tag read Jonathan Beelys. Mr. Beelys said he would speak to us under the condition of anonymity, a word that we were not very familiar with at the time. Mr. Beelys said spending a day inside the plant is akin to dunking one’s head into an oft used porta potty. He stated that Prius knows it is coming under fire, and is rushing to get a new slogan out to stem the tide of vitriol coming its way. A few of the slogans being tossed about are:
Prius – Shhhhhhh.
Prius – At least we didn’t rape anybody.
Prius – We have blacks working here!
Prius – If you can carpool in one with 40 people, pollution wise we’re breaking even.
Prius – Killing trees and poisoning rivers behind the scenes, so you can drive around thumbing your nose at other people.
Prius – Who Gives a Shit?
Prius – Fuck the Earth.