More Colts Trick Plays?

More Indianapolis Colts Trick Plays Discovered

Our van pulled up quietly next to the Colts offices Monday night and broke in through a window that had been left open.  We discovered several more trick plays the Colts are going to unveil in the next several weeks.

  1. The play is called Chemo.  What happens is just before the snap, QB Andrew Luck peers over to the sideline to figure out what the commotion is.  It appears Head Coach and Resident Ding Dong Chuck Pagano is having complications from the cancer that he beat a few years ago.  Chuck is frothing at the mouth and bent over in agony.  The whole thing is a ruse.  Andrew rushes over to assist, whereupon the ball is snapped to the fullback, and he attempts to throw downfield against a surprised and sympathetic defense.  According to the practice notes, results are mixed.  Several touchdowns have been scored, but what often occurs is the defense just blitzes and whales the shit out of the fullback, leading one to wonder if the defense hates their coach. 
  2. The play is called Me Sucky Sucky.  The punter receives the snap, and punts the ball two feet in the air, then exclaims, “oh my, me sucky sucky.”  Giving up field position is not great, but the next time the punter comes out, the opponent doesn’t line anyone up deep to receive, giving the punter an opportunity to blast the ball deep. 
  3. The play is called What the Fuck.  Indy lines up with one offensive lineman, two punters and a long snapper.  Andrew Luck goes out for a pass without a helmet on. A shirtless Frank Gore takes the snap and whips the ball backwards out of the end zone so the other team gets two points.  Everyone in the stands shouts, “What the Fuck!”  Indy’s plan works, according to the notes, because the other team is now going to be overconfident.
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