Matt Barnes attacks again

Last we spoke of Mr. Barnes in this column, he was claiming to have banged celebrities despite those celebrities having no clue who or what a Matt Barnes was. Now he’s in the news again, having driven a reported 95 miles to a barbecue to take on Derek Fisher in a fistfight, after learning Fisher was tapping Barne’s ex wife. Confused? That is what Matt Barnes wants, as we have learned from sociologist Begram Fronweds. Begram said, “Mr Barnes is exhibiting what is known as cloaking. He drove the 95 miles because he wanted barbecued chicken, fried chicken to be exact; but in order to cover up for the stereotype, he decided to fight Mr Fisher. The fight took place near a bonfire after Matt had consumed half a dozen pieces and fourteen wings. Fisher sustained a few scratches but was able to hold onto the watermelon slice he was eating when Barnes began tossing haymakers.

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