Alcoholics Anonymous announces big changes to the 12 step program

Alcoholics Anonymous have decided to change a few steps and add an overlooked “13th” step.

For centuries the Alcoholics Anonymous 12 step program has helped countless addicts, but the nonprofit organization has revisited its approach and literature.

“After failing to cure any atheists, the nonprofit decided it was time for changes,” said spokeswoman Hi my name is Jane. “We really messed this up, there are a few elephants in the room that we needed to address.” What the former alcoholic is talking about is the gigantic emphasis AA puts on god, and that none of the steps actually say “quit drinking.” Jane says, “We shuffled the steps around so that step one remains the same, but we added a step after one that specifies the alcoholic to stop drinking l, therefore step two is now three and so on.” On the topic of religion playing a key role in the recovery Jane (who was made famous by the fact that a band was named after her struggles) said, “Yes steps 4,6,7,8,12 and 13 are being revamped to allow for other beliefs, we chose something that appeals to both alcoholics and atheists.”

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Stop drinking alcohol.

3. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
4. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

  • replace God with Porn and Him to It.

5. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
6. Admitted to , to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

7. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

8. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

9. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

10. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

11. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

12. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

13. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

  • replace phrase spiritual awakenings with orgasm.

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