International House of Pancakes has issued a press release concerning several changes at the beloved yet struggling restaurant chain.
Company spokeswoman Anne Jemima said, “As our company is starting to see conflict within the international pancake community, we will be changing the name to North American House of Pancakes.”
The chain has been over-run on several fronts in the Middle East by competing company Islamic Sausage in Scones, or ISIS.
In addition to the name change IHOP is also going to change its butter policy, “We are also changing the policy regarding butter distribution on pancakes and effective immediately we will stop using an ice cream scooper to apply butter to the pancakes,” said Jemima. “We don’t know whose idea it was in the first place and we have found it to be a gigantic loss of revenue to apply three ice cream scoops of butter to a stack of pancakes.”