In a narrow vote by the Race Relations Board, the 100 Meter Dash narrowly beat out the NBA for the title of most racist sport in America. We asked Bob Blakpower, a committee member, how the vote went down. “The 100 meter dash is a race in which a white guy fires a gun, and 8 black men run in the opposite direction for obvious reasons. Then they break through the yellow tape so it looks like they’re escaping the crime scene.”
I pointed out that white people competed in this event too, but Bob was on a roll. “Also racist, but not as much, is the NBA.” ‘How,’ we asked. “In this sport, a white guy walks out, tosses a ball in the air, and then stands back and earns 50 bucks an hour reffing a game played by 10 black men who earn millions of dollars playing the sport that a white guy created.” We pointed out that Larry Bird was one of the greatest players of all time. Bob replied, “He was black. Somewhere in his lineage there is a black person, there has to be.” ‘Ok, what about Steve Nash and Dirk Nowitski?’ ‘Mulattoes,’ he replied.