Why America is doomed

You know what really tears my sphincter? The gentle pussification of America.

I was at the playground with my kid the other day and two things immediately came to mind when I laid eyes on the playground itself, first was obviously….shit… , homegrown terror. The second was the lack of physical harm my child could inflict upon himself as he played. What the fuck is happening? Where are the hot metal slides? Where are the merry-go- rounds?

When I was growing up it was a badge of honor to burn your ass on a hot slide, or puke your fucking brains out after someone spun the merry-go-round wicked fast. I look back at those days on the battlefield of youth and remember that a cast was the adolescent equivalent to a Purple Heart.

Now with my kid at the park, they have everything extra safe which means zero fun; if a kid can’t get hurt playing then how the fuck are they supposed to recognize cause and effect? Thirty years ago, if you fell out of a tree climbing it, no one cut down the fucking tree!  You simply needed to be better at climbing trees.

Hell even the games we played aren’t allowed anymore; dodge ball has been banned in some elementary schools and don’t get me started with cops and robbers or Cowboys and Indians. If your kid runs outside with a cap gun and fires it he might get killed because some stupid fuck called the cops to report a kid with a gun.

I can remember playing “Jarts” or lawn darts, the object was to fling a weighted arrow into a circle in the ground of the opposing team. That game was fucking fun, yeah it was like dodging artillery fire but lo and behold it was taken off the market.

These kids wearing knee pads and helmets to the park are no good for America, we need kids with giant sperm filled balls, not these half dick, half vagina boys afraid of getting a little boo boo.  In the end our country is fucked.

I can remember in school I loved history; sucked it right up, math too.  Grammar not so much but back then it was fine. Now they want to dumb the damn schools down so no one gets offended.

I’m telling you with people talking into their phones and making the phone do the typing…. Stupidest thing ever.

We are a seriously screwed people. Do you think ISIS gives two fucks what the little kids are playing with? They give them hand grenades and shit.

I see on Facebook all the time that people are too dumb and too lazy to keep America great. You’ve all seen it wtf, cuz, wat up… Ridiculous.  I had a delivery guy come to my house recently, he handed me the clipboard and asked for my John Hancock like this…. “Can I get your cock on here buddy?”  I said, “Don’t you guys carry those pens anymore?  Get me a patch of snow and I’ll whip you up a signature you dingbat.”

Most Americans can name more people on TV than they can US Presidents. How pathetic is that? I can ask any teenager when the next One Direction or Justin Beiber concert is and get an immediate answer, but if I ask them what happened on June 6,1944 they have no fucking clue.

Americans know all about the Kardashians and nothing about Dachau or Auschwitz. And ten to one says they have heard of Nagasaki or Hiroshima but have no clue what happened there.

SpEcIaL eD


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