Singer Nikki Minaj’s left nipple fell out of her outfit during a concert on Monday, an outfit by the way that couldn’t hold my dick and balls in place if I double looped it around my package and then secured it with duct tape.
The previous weekend her concert was concluded earlier than anticipated due to a minor brawl. The city of Boston, on receiving this news, informed Nikki that the next time she comes through town, certain parameters must be met.
One is called the Dick Tease Clause and states that any nip slip had better be followed up by a grand viewing of famous Taj Minaj snatch and bunghole click here to see her bunghole so the crowd can orgasmically release in the comfort of their own chairs. Boston concert goers do not want to go home with blue balls; its straight to bed after a hard night of partying; we ain’t got time to be drunkenly searching the cabinets for ointments and baby wipes at 2AM cuz Nikki couldn’t keep her tits in the holster.
The second parameter is the Fight to the Death Clause, which falls under the No Pussies Allowed Preamble to the Boston Constitution. Any and all brawls will not be ending any concerts prematurely; therefore and forthwith, Nikki will honor her contract and sing for the duration agreed to, whilst we Bostonians settle our business in the stands with whatever weapons we deem necessary.
As per article 2 section 4 of the Bostitution:
All performers must continue performing during any and all fights in the crowd to assure the following.
1. That all Bostonians are guaranteed a sound track for any and all fights and that any song a performer is currently performing must comply with Commonwealth Law paragraph 2 section 8 which states: Any and all fights in and around Boston must be accompanied by either Shipping up to Boston or Dirty Water; no other song shall be permitted.