Boston loses Olympic bid, will now pursue Special Olympics

The Beantown staff has uncovered some startling facts about the Boston Commission in charge of bringing the Olympics to Boston. They are now making a run at the Special Olympics in 2019. And the bid is not being made by the commission itself; it’s being made by the Special Olympics athletes themselves.

We spoke with Harvey Fritzenheimer, who was a member of the failed 2015 bid and asked to remain anonymous, but fuck him. Harvey had this to say, “All the Special Olympics Committees in the past have been run by people ‘without’ special needs. And it runs through the entire process, from the games, to the TV coverage to the facility management.

The recent LA games had every handsome glib ESPN wannabe announcer sticking his white teeth in the frame in an attempt to steal the games from the very people who should be the center of attention.

And the entire staff at the events themselves are made up of people with no discernible needs. Do we let the special olympians get in on the Winter
and Summer Olympic games? No, I didn’t think so, so let’s get the fuck away from their games! We’ve decided that our bid and the games themselves will
be handled by the Special Olympians. We chose ten of them to head up the bid committee, and then allowed the rest of them to divvy up all the announcing chores, the track and field set up, TV negotiations and gave them all the medals, the podiums, tickets and the bunting.  They’re on their own.  The rest of us are going to get the bleep out of their way, it’s time to put the ‘special’ in Special Olympics.”


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