On a recent campaign stop in New Hampshire, Beantown staffers stalked Presidential candidate Donald Trump in an attempt to secure an interview. We followed the candidate at a safe but still watchable distance at his first stop in Manchester N.H. where he spoke to an enthusiastic but uneducated group of about 100 people. Mr. Trump hit some heavy talking points on illegal immigration, healthcare reform and, the national budget.
We then followed Mr. Trump to his next stop in Durham N.H. where he spoke to a crowd of 2 UNH students. Our defining moment was when Mr. Trumps security detail noticed our old ice cream truck and approached us saying, “Can I get a spongebob ice cream, and a sno-cone?” We told him we weren’t selling ice cream, we are a completely legit, low-budget news site, that was looking to interview Mr. Trump; We were surprised by what happened next.
As it turns out, Mr. Trump is a big fan of our ‘no punches held back’ style of reporting and agreed to be interviewed right there inside our vehicle saying, “I want to tell you my plans for America and the White House.”
Mr. Trumps said, “I’m going to tackle some of the major problems in Washington, for instance did you know there isn’t a single casino?” He said, “One of my plans is to renovate the west wing, and with a partnership with MGM we will reopen it as the MGM West Wing Resort and Casino.” We asked if that would actually solve any actual problem America is facing, his reply, “For once in the whole history of America the White House could be turning a profit.”
To us that kind of made sense to a degree. Then Trump added, “You don’t think my only plan would be to open a casino in the west wing do you? That would be ludacrist, we would also need to add 35 floors to the main building for guest accommodations, my plan calls for a Rivera style tower with fabulous views of DC.”
We said that sounded like the biggest renovation the White House has ever seen and who the hell would pay for it? Trump answered, “Well you see as a corporation America can be great, every taxpayer is a share holder and by the time I’m done with ‘Trump’s Pennsylvania Avenue resort and family fun center’ American taxpayers would see the system working differently, you would be payed a portion of the profits every year.”
We asked Mr. Trump about his plans for securing the border, he said, “Have you ever watched the history channel? The nazis had a gun that was attached to a train that could shoot a round into England or France, I believe with a few modifications I could have a couple strategically placed at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and I could lob some rounds south of the border; it will be pretty fun.”