We’ve got a piper down, I repeat a piper is down!
Today we mourn the passing of Rowdy Roddy Piper, who died of cardiac arrest at the age of 61.
He will forever be known for his glasses that could see zombies that appear human. Rowdy is survived by his wife, Angrily Piper, and two children Rambunctious Piper and Raging Piper; all of whom are in anger management classes.
We asked Mrs. Piper what life would be like now that he has piped his last pipe to which she replied, “he was just so damn rowdy smashing stuff around the house; I’m really going to fucking miss his ass.”
Mrs Piper had this to say, “when I got the call about Rowdy, all I heard was dead and arrest, for a minute I thought he had been killed by a policeman trying to arrest him, then I remembered, he’s white so I knew that wasn’t the case.”
Related: is Hulk Hogan a fucking nazi?