Greece: We are broke as fuck, can we pay on our next payday?
Athens Greece- the Greek government defaulted on its $1.7 billion IMF payment, sending the country into chaos. The country has since stopped answering all calls that show up on its caller ID as ‘blocked’ or ‘unknown’. As of Thursday morning the country was completely void of citizens, leaving tourists scratching their heads. On Wednesday night the country was in negotiations with Gold Crafters Exchange Pawn Shop in Framingham, Massachusetts, to see what they could get for The Acropolis. Several banks have run out of money, and are trying to convince customers to take Baklava as currency instead.
In another bold move to improve the financial situation in Greece, the entire country’s leading bankers were spotted in line at the Boston branch of the Welfare Department. We spoke to Stephen Spotoffolus of Athens who said, “We have read that your state gives out a so called ‘EBT’ card that we can obtain.” We asked what that had anything to do with the current situation in Greece; what we heard next was a total shock and awe campaign. “We plan on getting an EBT card and paying off the debt, hell maybe we can buy a few groceries with it.” We advised Mr. Spotoffolus that the EBT program was for US citizens living in… Who the fuck are we trying to kid? We wished him well and off we went.