Fists fly during party
Chelmsford Mass- A birthday party held this past weekend took a dramatic turn when everyone on the guest list brought chips and soda. The party was in the works for months in advance, but due to piss poor party planning and a case of the ‘cheap fucks,’ no one signed on to bring any actual food, just snacks. Brian Chesterfield, who was in attendance said, “Not a single hot dog or hamburger– not one, it was brutal.” As the festivities dragged on and the stomachs started growling people took matters into their own hands, Rachel Bizon said, “It was pure chaos, people started rummaging through the
fridge trying to scrape up enough deli meat to build sandwiches; I heard one guy ask if the donuts on top of the fridge were part of the party.” At one point a debate broke out about whether or not to eat the hosts’ cat. To make things worse the hosts decided to wait and do grocery shopping after the event.
Fists started flying when someone located a package of meatball hot pockets.
Bizon said, “It turned into a blood bath, there were two hot pockets and forty-five starving guests, it just turned into a gladiator
fight.” John Macky, who landed one of the hot pockets, soon found out the hard way that murdering your friends for some food can have slight karma attached, saying, “As it turns out, their microwave broke a week ago.”