Mike Milbury’s Fight shoe turns up in California
Los Angles- A photo from a crime scene in Los Angeles has led to a startling discovery. In the background one can clearly see a dead homeless guy wearing the famous shoe that Mike Milbury used in 1979 when he climbed into the stands and beat a fan at Madison Square Garden in New York City.
We obtained the shoe from the forensics dept. at LAPD, and after a side by side comparison with other shoes on youtube hockey fights, discovered it matches exactly the same color and size as the shoe Milbury pulled off a fan’s foot and then used to stove in the fan’s skull. We tracked down the fan, J. Kaptain, who was interviewed about the incident from his front porch rocker at Becker’s Senior Home in Camden, New Jersey. Kaptain tried the shoe on and it was a perfect fit, with plenty of movement in the toe and a snug fit in the tongue area. We then had one of our staffers rush at Mr. Kaptain while wearing a Bruins sweater, and as expected, Kaptain shit his pants. We gently removed the shoe from his diabetically swollen foot, and then belted him in the temple with it. He shouted, “Ouch,” so we knew we were getting close. We followed up the controlled experiment by asking if the feeling was similar to the one he felt when Milbury whacked him. He said Milbury hit him harder. Using this clue, we clouted him again, only this time with an alarm clock, at which point he slumped in his chair, with blood oozing from his ear drum. The time on the clock was 1010AM. Clearly the man was not napping this early, so he was out cold, another strong clue. Some sort of signal went off in the home, but we were already in the car, heading back to Beantown Headquarters to announce the startling discovery and to place the item on Ebay.