Tiger Woods, a nasty case of the blue balls?

Beantown Beatdown

Tiger Woods is stinking out the joint at the 2015 U.S. Open. He shot an 80 yesterday, which means pretty soon, he’s going to have to start requesting everyday hackers like us to sign his score card just so he can keep his tour membership.

Yesterday’s score card had so many snow men on it, a PGA staffer mailed it to the North Pole thinking it was a Xmas letter. We spoke with Butch Wynegar, a golf coach, who thinks he knows how Tiger can cure his yips. “Tiger was banging every broad on the planet when he was the number one ranked golfer in the world,” said Butch. “He needs to get back to that lifestyle; his blue balls are killing his game. What I would do is approach him during a practice round, yank the four iron from his hand, and say, ‘We’re going to do a different type of swinging today Tiger. Get rid of these little tiny white balls, and get those two big black ones out.’ Then I’d bring him to a local whorehouse for a series of blow jobs.” We asked Butch how it could possibly be a good idea to bring a man with a sex addiction to a whorehouse so he could receive blow jobs? “Who said anything about receiving em?” asked Butch. “You see the man’s lips? He’s a natural ball washer and I want to help spread that gift to the world

Shhh, Don't tell anyone
Shhh, Don’t tell anyone
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