Trouble brewing at Spokane NAACP?
By: Special Ed, Staff Writer for the Uneducated Press.
Embattled Spokane NAACP leader Rachel Dolezal has been outed as being white.
Dolezal’s family claims that, “She was always fascinated with African Americans and decided she wanted to be one. She was always imitating white
people, doing crazy shit like working around the house and reading .” Beantown investigators did some digging and here’s what we speculate so far:
Rachel Dolezal has been living a lie; she planned on sitting down with Diane Sawyer and coming out as a black woman trapped in a white women’s body but Bruce/ Caitlynn Jenner came along and stole that headline. Dolezal was set on being the first transracial individual to come out (we all know that
Michael Jackson was actually the first but he never exited the closet) and she went to great lengths to deceive people along the way. We spotted her
yesterday morning in her bathroom from our eye in the sky Beantown drone; she was starting her makeup ritual which took about four and a half hours. In a telephone interview we conducted with her mom she stated, “Rachel isn’t nappy headed, that’s a Jew ‘fro she’s got.” We also reached out to Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton for their comments on this developing situation but we were quickly told that they wouldn’t conduct an interview with us. Further imagination on our part has revealed this: Rachel Dolezal and Cindy Brady have never been seen together, coincidence? We speculate not. Our other speculation is maybe Ms. Dolezal thought that NAACP stood for National
Association for the Advancement of Caucasian People. Wait– that would be racist to have an organization that promotes only white advancement.