Brandon Spikes was released this week after his car was found damaged on the side of the highway. Rumors began to fly about the possible reasons for this but once again the Beantown staff has beaten everyone to the story.
Apparently Spikes was cruising down the road when he heard the 1-877-KARS4KIDS ad on his radio. Inspired by the thought of giving a car to a kid, he simply pulled over into the breakdown lane, left a note on the windshield which must have blown away, and walked some 30 miles back to Woonsocket, Rhode Island. A staffer at his agent’s office told us, “Brandon was doing God’s work, and this is the thanks he gets? He loves kids and he loved that piece of shit car too, but now he’s out of work and some six year old is flying around in his fucking automobile. Full tank of gas and everything. Half a canister of Pringles on the seat. Life sucks.” We asked the staffer if he knew why the car was so damaged. “He’s Brandon Spikes man. You think a fucking linebacker be driving in, some Prius n’shit?”