New Burger chain a complete rip off?


George Plageris of South Boston is excited to announce the grand opening of his new chain of restaurants. Continue reading


Woman powers car with own farts

A Medford woman with severe gastritis and chronic diarrhea is making the most of her situation. Continue reading

General Mills settles half century Pillsbury lawsuit

General Mills, the Parent company of Pillsbury Inc. has settled on a decade long lawsuit with one of its employees. Pillsbury spokesman Pop n’ Fresh claimed that he was subjected to a harsh work environment. This included but was not limited to inappropriate touching. Pillsbury’s lawyers have tried to fight the claims, saying, “It was all in his contract.” Pop N’ Fresh, whose real name is Earl Higgins, said, “Since I began working here, people have been poking me in the stomach and making me walk around the warehouse wearing nothing but a chef’s hat; it’s degrading.” Legal analysts have stated that since most claims related to the case were video recorded and broadcast to the American people, it was pretty much a slam dunk case.

Related : Captain Crunch demoted to Commander after citing God in speech.

MORE BREAKING DEFLATEGATE NEWS: Tom Brady to enter the NFL appeals process on a triclycle

Beantown Beatdown Exclusive

Our moles broke into the law firm of Jeffrey Kessler over the holiday weekend and uncovered some revealing evidence. Continue reading


Breaking Hub news!

Our moles at Gillette have discovered that the Pats will hire a new Equipment Manager to replace Jim McNally.

Patriots will hire new equipment manager
Patriots will hire new equipment manager

The Patriots have released a statement that ” Brady should be very pleased with the selection and hopefully things can get back to normal.”

Women cry foul at hourly wages

A recent study conducted by our very own crack team of investigators, which is comprised of three women who make diddly shit, and two guys who we pay by the pizza slice, has uncovered this truth, “women make less money then men, spend twice as much time bitching about it” Continue reading

BREAKING NEWS: Tom Brady’s texts uncovered.

Beantown Beatdown Exclusive

 Brady’s text messages uncovered …maybe.

We here at The Beantown Beatdown, using our extensive research team along with our ability to completely make shit up, have come up with the details you’ve all been waiting for. Here are the texts. Continue reading